Going Once, Going Twice
by Hathor
Summary: SGC Charity Slave Auction *Warning: Contains Slash*


Going Once, Going Twice  
  
Author: Hathor  
Feedback: ladyraistlin@hotmail.com  
Pairing: Jack/Daniel  
Rating: PG  
Status: Complete  
Category: Humour  
Warning:   
Spoilers:   
Challenge Response  
Date Uploaded: 2002-07-20 23:48:32  
Archive: Area 52, The Alpha Gate, Spacemonkey's Gate  
Special Notes:   
  
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Sadly these characters are not mine, they belong to TPTB. But I'm keeping my Daniel clone cause a girl's gotta get her fix somehow ! :)  
  
Author's Notes: Reponse to Alpha Gate Friday Fic Challenge #2. Spurred on by encouraging feedback from Challenge #1, here's my stab at Challenge #2. This was going to be an interesting fic until my muse got stuck drooling over Daniel in a tuxedo by the end of paragraph four and from there on in I was left to fend for myself. So apologies in advance especially since this is unbeta'd.  
  
Summary: SGC Charity Slave Auction Lot #13: Dr. Daniel Jackson, linguist, archaeologist, babe. "Somebody buy me. Please."  
  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Going Once, Going Twice ~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
  
"Daniel, you look fine." Damn fine really, but Sam didn't vocalise that thought since Daniel was just standing there radiating discomfort.  
  
Daniel squirmed and frowned as he looked up at Sam for re-assurance. "I do?" he asked in a disbelieving tone. She nodded back, picking off some imaginary fluff from his shoulder.  
  
"Relax, Daniel. It's just a charity event."  
  
He looked back at her mournfully, taking in her full-length sleek blue gown and her subtly made up face, which gave her a soft feminine radiance that they rarely saw in their line of work. In comparison to Sam's elegance, he felt like a damned penguin in his rented tuxedo.  
  
"So where the hell is Jack?" he sniped.  
  
"He'll be here, Daniel. Just relax."  
  
A clatter of sharp footsteps up the rickety stairs to the backstage area heralded Jack's somewhat late arrival.  
  
"Talk of the devil," Daniel muttered, his eyes firmly on the floor so as not to have to look at the Colonel laughing at him when he saw what Daniel was wearing. Jack breezed past Daniel to straighten his own jacket in the full-length mirror near Sam.  
  
"Glad you could join us, sir," Sam said cheerily. "Have you been taking punctuality lessons from Daniel again?"  
  
Jack grinned. "Just had to take care of something. Geesh Carter, you look good!"  
  
"Thanks sir. Daniel helped me choose it." Sam's dress was elegant yet hinted at the curves of her figure.  
  
"Daniel, you dog!" Jack said turning to pin the archaeologist with a conspiratory wink but he was unprepared for the sight of Daniel in a classic tuxedo. He did a small double take, his eyes absorbing the elegant lines of Daniel's outfit. He raised both his eyebrows and met the other man'shesitant look with a small nod of approval. His reward was a shy smile from Daniel.  
  
However Sergeant Davies chose that moment to stuck his head around the corner, cutting Jack's next comment short. "Major," he hissed. "You're up next."  
  
Sam nodded and turned to the other two. "Wish me luck."  
  
"Break a leg, Carter," Jack said happily. She rolled her eyes as she lifted her dress slightly to walk carefully towards the back of the catwalk.  
  
"You look beautiful Sam," Daniel said. She flashed him one of her rare megawatt smiles in return and then turned the corner and continued out into the bright lights of the room.  
  
Janet's voice echoed across the PA system. "Lot #12: Major Samantha Carter. Astrophysicist extraordinaire! What out boys, this one's a handful."  
  
"Wow. I didn't know that Carter could balance in heels that high." Jack craned his neck and watched her retreating form, his eyes certainly not fixed on Carter's feet.  
  
"Stop being an ass, Jack," Daniel said, fiddling with his bowtie in nervous agitation in front of the mirror. Jack looked at him and then rolled his eyes, crossing to stand in front of Daniel. He batted the archaeologist's hands away and frowned in concentration as he began re-tying Daniel's bowtie. The sounds of enthusiastic bidding on Sam could be heard filtering through, the more vocal contingent in the audience making their presence known, yet Jack was focused on the bowtie as he tried to keep his hands from shaking.  
  
"Jack?" Daniel breathed the question, gently pulling the Colonel's wrists away from the base of his neck. As Jack looked up and for the first time ever Daniel saw real uncertainty in his friend's eyes.  
  
"Dr Jackson?" Sergeant Davies' question made the two men jump apart but not before they exchanged a look that was almost wistful even as it was fearful.  
  
"You look good, Daniel. Now knock 'em dead." Daniel removed his glasses and pinched his nose, gathering his resolution for the trial ahead. Taking a deep breath and tucking the glasses into his top pocket, he followed the Sergeant out, looking for the entire world like a man about to meet his doom.  
  
Once more Janet's voice reverberated around the filled room, but this time it was far more impish.  
  
"SGC Charity Slave Auction Lot #13: Dr. Daniel Jackson, linguist, archaeologist, babe."  
  
Jack had to smother a laugh at Janet's introduction and could just imagine the smouldering glare Daniel would have shot in her direction as he passed her little podium.  
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen, who will start the bidding at three hundred dollars for this fine specimen of a man." Janet's voice almost purred on the last word of her sentence.  
  
The bidding quickly escalated, much to Daniel's surprise, as he stood feeling like a first class fool in the middle of the catwalk. Janet covered the microphone with one hand and hissed at him. "You need to strut your stuff, hunnie," she drawled. "And let's see if we can't get you to be the first over eight hundred tonight." Daniel decided whimsically that facing an angry System Lord would be better than 'strutting his stuff' in front of the baying crowd.  
  
"Four hundred" came a shout from the back of the room and he his cheeks flushed. Damnit! He felt like he stuck out like a sore thumb. All the other men were in their dress uniforms, including the General, and the ladies were garbed in evening dresses - most of them looking somewhat predatory from what he could tell minus his glasses. He felt like a trussed-up turkey the day before Thanksgiving.  
  
Still the bids climbed. Six hundred, six fifty. Seven hundred. As he walked down the catwalk, Daniel decided he was so going to kill Jack forgetting him to agree to do this. Seven fifty.  
  
Janet interrupted the bidding. "Hang on, ladies and gentlemen. A moment please." She turned to Teal'c, looking at the piece of paper she had just been handed. The tall Jaffa who nodded once and Janet turned back to the room.  
  
"I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but we have had an anonymous bid placed on Doctor Jackson to the tune of one thousand dollars." Daniel's head whipped around in surprise and someone near the front whistled at the announcement. "It seems someone wants our favourite archaeologist quite badly," Janet continued before bringing down the miniature gavel in her hand. "Sold to the anonymous bidder for one thousand dollars." Daniel gratefully vacated the catwalk, pleased that the ordeal was over but puzzled as to whom would spend a thousand dollars just for the pleasure of his company for twenty four hours.  
  
Backstage Jack was grinning like the proverbial cat that had caught the canary. It had cost a lot, including a begging call to his credit card company, but it would be worth it to have Daniel to himself for a whole day with no distractions. Sergeant Davies beckoned to Jack, who took a moment to straighten his jacket and step out onto the stage.  
  
"Lot #14: Colonel Jack O'Neill." Janet's voice continued on as Jack sauntered out onto the catwalk, lapping up the atmosphere ".Grouchy CO of the flagship team SG:1."  
  
"Grouchy?!? " hissed Jack.  
  
"Irritable." suggested Janet in a stage whisper. Jack glared at her so she tried again. "Cantankerous, crotchety." she continued cheerfully. Jack rolled his eyes and continued to stroll down the catwalk, smiling at the crowd. "So who will start the bidding at a two hundred dollars?"  
  
The background noise faded.  
  
"One hundred?"  
  
The room became silent.  
  
"Anyone."  
  
Jack thought he could see the tumbleweed rolling across the floor.  
  
"Oh for cryin' out loud. Somebody buy me. Please."  
  
  
~ The End ~ 


End file.
